Bill O'Reilly Expresses Surprise Blacks Don't Kill, Eat Their Children

Excellence in broadcasting.

Bill O'Reilly ate with black people for the first time in his life earlier this month, and was surprised to learn they use utensils to eat and only defecate in restrooms, just like people at an "Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb". On Sunday, O'Reilly plans on attending the Folsom Street Fair to bridge the gap between leather daddy fetishists and GOP soccer moms. The lesson is DON'T HATE, APPRECIATE.