President Bush: Iraq is a Big Success, So We’ll Be There Forever!

Celebrating success.

The President updated the nation on his war effort last night, but continued to expose either a jarring level of stupidity or an easy willingness to lie. According to W, things are going great in Iraq; so great, that our soldiers will be there for the next hundred years. So great that the Iraqi government has demonstrated at least some progress toward only half of the benchmarks we’ve suggested. So great, that he’s already given this war to the next president to mop up. The only good news the president mentioned that wasn’t a fabrication was a reference to times ‘beyond [his] presidency,’ implying we will not have to suffer some sort of incompetent coup after his term expires. A figure often cited as the cost of the war so far is over $450 billion. A few calculations reveal the federal government could instead have used this money to send every American a check for almost $1,500! Or, you know, provide healthcare for people. Or stay in Iraq until our empire crumbles and we’re all squatting in ditches shoving berries up our noses. On to Tehran, hurrah!