What Did the Senate Do This Week?

The nursing home of doom.

The Senate had a rather productive week filled with a flurry of voting and the usual incessant senile banter. First, the Senate denied DC residents the right to any substantive federal representation. (They also neglected to remove the burden of federal taxation, so I guess we’re at least enough like a state to warrant that.) Senator Larry Craig rushed back just in time to squelch a lot of toilet-sex enjoying homosexuals’ civil rights.

Then, the Senate denied terrorism detainees the writ of habeas corpus, an antiquated notion that says people can ask a court why the fuck they’ve been in prison the last six-odd years. Now, watch us poop on a Koran. And the Constitution.

Finally yesterday, the Senate decided against letting American military personnel get an equivalent amount of leave time as they’ve spent on duty. Only Congress gets to do that.

All that, and it’s only Thursday. Next week is Send All Your Garbage to Your Senator Week, so remember to thank yours for everything.